Tuesday, March 29, 2005

hopeless.

fine. be that way. pretend that you don't know. be distant. ignore me. avoid me. i'm used to it anyway.

i can't blog this in tabulas because if i do, that person will or might (i don't know if xin would ever care to check it) read it and that would make things even more complicated and awkward.

i can't stand it anymore. i caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan't, honestly. my mind's filled with nothing else, no one else but that person. not even jay or f4 can take my mind off xin. it's been two years. and that's long for me already. two years of being this way... maybe not... because the first 8 months we'd been okay... we still talked to each other then... not anymore.

am i that desperate? because i really, really, try to find ways to be able to at least send xin an instant message... and even there, i can feel how distant ___ is. argh. WAAAAAHHHH!!!

no, i won't cry. i won't!!! jia you! aja! aja! hwaiting! uuuggghhhh!!!

someday... i'll have the courage to tell you everything face to face. i'll have the courage to let everyone know. and i wouldn't have to be this way.

huhuhuhu.

i'm watching fullhouse right now... ah! now i'd pay to have someone like justin...ling...mei zhuo...ahsi...lei...ximen...ying feng...in my life. huhuhuhuuuu!!!

and there's somethin wrong with jay-chou.net!!! aaahhh... i need my dose of Jay... or else ill die...!
well yes, of course f4's keeping me alive right now... but jay is another kind of medicine... and i haven't like, been to j-c.net for a whole week!!! noooo.

Mish wrote at 9:21 PM