Tuesday, May 02, 2006

我不要。。。

I haven't posted here in ages, but I am going to now.

I need to escape. I'm getting more and more frustrated and disappointed in myself every passing second. No matter how hard I try to cheer myself up, everything just falls back to where I've started---in misery.

I'm afraid I'm losing all my friends... Even those Ate's I look up to. I swear to God, I treasure them so much. I do.

I'm scared that they might dislike me.

I never had much confidence in myself. I don't make good first impressions, and I have a hard time talking to other people. I just don't know what to say, what to talk about. What to tell them. So sometimes, I prefer to just listen, instead of talking.. I have nothing interesting to say. This is so pathetic.

I'm afraid to lose them. I just am. I wish they won't hate me. Argh. Why am I like this?

I'm losing all my reasons to live. I'm losing everything. If I lose them... I would just have to give everything up. And leave. Ni dong wo mah?

Mish wrote at 11:45 PM